Attitude

Lately, I’ve been thinking I should change my bio. We’ve sold that little cabin and maybe I’m not as curmudgeonly as I use to be.

Hah, fat chance!

Sometime after noon my sister calls.

“Now what do want?” I growl into the receiver but we both know the game.

“How many phone calls did you answer today?” she asks, knowing darn well my favorite button silences the ringer.

“You’re the first!” I laugh as she chortles.

“Well, for f@ck’s sake.”

“I don’t say that anymore. I’m tired of hearing it from everyone else.” I’m smiling into the phone but my voice is all gravel.

“Well, all my friends say it, for f@ck’s sake.”

“See,” I tell her, “overused.”

“That was an epic voice mail,” she says, referring to the time I stepped on a goat’s head burr just as her voicemail kicked in. “I shared it with everybody I know.”

I don’t remember everything I said – well mostly – but it’s all too blue to share. “I love you. Now get off the phone.”

She chuckles and I sink back in the sofa to glare at the wall. Then just for GP (general purpose) I glare at my husband.

“Looks like you’re going to bed early.”

I nod. “Can’t stand myself today.”

I make it until a quarter of seven, tell Rob I love him, and snag my ear buds to listen to an audio book.

Seems like I’m still a curmudgeon.

14 Replies to “Attitude”

  1. It’s a funny post. But then I am getting more curmudgeonly by the day.
    I know the those days “when I can’t stand myself” feeling.

  2. Is it curmudgeonly to simply like one’s own company best? Considering that nobody else thinks I’m as witty as I do, it’s no wonder I like my own company, sometimes to the exclusion of all others.

    1. No. I’m like you, I can entertain myself all day long. I like people and I’ve been a happy, solitary creature from birth, but when I can’t stand myself ( not often) I send my husband fishing or put myself in timeout. Have a lovely night, Judy.

  3. GP –where I come from, that stands for General Principles; same difference, I think.

    My husband and I live in a ranch-style house; he’ll be in the den watching TV and I’ll be at the other end of the house in the bedroom writing a story. Occasionally we will visit each other and chat or meet in the kitchen for a snack. We don’t bother each other and it feels like we’re alone but we’re aware we are both in the house. However, on Saturdays Bill goes fishing and I have the entire house to myself! I still hang out in my room writing but it’s cool knowing I’m alone with my curmudgeonly self and don’t even have to answer phone calls.

    I love Bill but I really love Saturdays.

  4. Still laughing about your dog levitating for butter and now this! πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜„πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚β€οΈ

    1. We are nothing if not happily dysfunctional, and all our dogs have been high-spirited eaters. Roxy’s the first to drool over butter and mayo.

    2. I can talk myself into attitude, and swear like a sailor, but I have perfect blood pressure. We all take after my mother. If we get attitude, we need to be fed, watered and put to bed!

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